As an intuitive eating coach, I tend to attract clients who are very much like me. On some degree or another, not only do they struggle with food but also with money and clutter. I’ve even had clients say to me “How did you know that?” thinking I had been secretly spying through the curtains or hacking their bank accounts.
The have shit flying out of their closets knocking them in the head. Debt up to their eyeballs. And, of course, a wealth of rules and limiting beliefs about food (and money, and clutter).
Along the way, the patterns I have noticed have been very telling. Not only about the women I can be most in service to but about myself.
I’ve noticed a lot of sadness shortly followed by anger. I’ve noticed a lot of lack and scarcity with food, money and things. There is always fear around what others might think. People pleasing and just wanting to be liked. They have no idea how to set boundaries or even what healthy boundaries are.
And, so to work we go. We work through their feelings, their beliefs, and their wants. We unravel the web of tangled beliefs and feelings that drive their actions. And we dig and dig.
No matter what, we always end up in the same place.
A deep desire to feel loved, to feel worthy and valuable in the world.
It always comes to this.
Often times, it can be scary to look that deeply at why we do what we do. It seems much easier to keep pretending that it is about the food.
And so, we spend our lives filling the void. Over-eating. Over-spending or saving. Obsessively cleaning or hoarding away. Wearing uncomfortable shoes so our friends will think we are cool. Saying yes when what we really want is to say no. And eating some more.
But, here is the thing.
All of those things are a shitty substitute for the real thing.
The real love that lives within your own heart.
The real freedom that comes from trusting yourself, your intuition and your life experience.
The liberation of knowing you are enough. You are whole. You are worthy. You are valuable.
Just the way you are.
People ask me all the time what is the secret to making peace with food?
My answer is that it starts by making peace with you.
