Of all the questions I am asked – as a coach and as someone who has been there and is doing that – the one I am most often ask is how to start.
And the answer is so freaking simple that it can be really hard to grasp – especially when we are coming from a clawing and grasping place of desperation. From that place that screams at us to fix it. It is so simple, that I even have to remind myself of it sometimes.
Just notice.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to a Bryon Katie* workshop and one of my favorite things she said was in response to a man who asked her how she does it. Here answer was:
It’s not magic. I just noticed.
To me, this was brilliant. Of all the notes I scribbled down, I think it was the most impact-full because of it’s simple truth. There is no magic trick.
It starts with awareness. And no matter what problem you are facing, this is always true. One of the things I have often said is that you can’t change something you aren’t aware of. Byron Katie said:
You can not heal what you have no discovered.
And I have found this to be true.
Whether it is learning why we eat when we aren’t hungry. Or learning why our house is a disaster area or why we spend more money than we have. We always must first notice. I think for many, myself included, a lot of the problem is in being afraid of what would be revealed when I started paying attention. The cobwebs in the corners, the skeletons in the closet and the truth underneath the story.
I personally have found deep awareness in a number of places – yoga, journaling, talking, walking, listening to music (in particular Krishna Das* really resonates with my soul) and, yes, just sitting and being quiet enough to hear. Remaining present with what is and just noticing.
That IS the magic.
No need to worry and fret about what to do once you notice. What you need will be there if you just pay attention. No clawing, no grasping, no fixing necessary.
