I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the importance of self-acceptance in this journey to making peace with food. I recently sent out a survey that you all graciously responded to (thank you!) and this was the one area that came up again and again. I offered a number of options in the answers and of all of those answers, most of you said that you hate your body.
And I know what that is like.
I can really vividly remember the moment when I realized that I had dieted my way down from 220lbs to a “normal” number but that I still hated my body. All of those years spent focusing on the food and the exercise had passed but besides the size of my blue jeans, nothing was really that different.
It wasn’t good enough. I still grabbed my belly wishing for a big knife to cut it off. I still looked in the mirror with disgust for what I saw. I still melted down every time I got dressed because I “felt” so fat and nothing “looked right”.
Even though I was what most would consider a normal, healthy young woman, and on par with an “acceptable” weight, there was still a seething hatred inside of my heart.
That moment changed my life.
In that moment, I deeply understood that hating my body was not what I wanted – no matter what size I was. It was in that moment that I understand the importance of self-acceptance.
I had always thought that I would finally accept myself if I were thin.
I thought that the women who spouted off about the importance of self-acceptance and body love didn’t really know me – I was different. I would be happy when I was thin and that was that. I truly believed that solving this food and weight thing was the answer.
But in that moment, so many years ago, I knew deep within me that it’s not.
It never will be.
The size of your body has nothing to do with your capacity to love and accept yourself.
Absolutely nothing.
If a house is built on sand, it will not withstand harsh storms. Even the slightest breeze could cause the house to topple. – unknown
Beating yourself up in order to love yourself is like building a house on sand.
You cannot beat yourself into love.
And that, my dear readers, is the importance of self acceptance.
